Sat, 19 May 2012 08:32:42 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://www.afropolitan.co.za/features-a-columns/kaburu/306-the-badge.html     Siener in die Suburbs was, before rehearsals even began, a massive hit. With the censors.   “How,” they asked, “can you have a character who has only one line?”   “How,” they spluttered, “can this character’s only line be, ‘Ma, I’m preggers’?” Life is not like that! When it was explained that the whole narrative revolved around this line, the character and her line were allowed to remain in the play, and it is on the actress who would interpr... Kaburu Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:25:16 +0100 http://www.afropolitan.co.za/features-a-columns/kaburu/282-kaburu-sudsy-malones-and-the-washing-of-the-soul.html   “From Holland. You know, Europe? No, no, not Europe, Nebraska. Oh, never mind.” Besides the fact that all you had to add onto the word “Dutch” was “man”, and I’d be nailed, the good folks of Ohio bought it hook, line and sinker. Now, what Afrikaner, you may well ask, would deny the Springbok? Well, the way I went on you’d swear I’d never even heard about rugby, never mind the “Sprungbox” or whatever ya call ’em.   You’d be amazed how quickly you learn to ... Kaburu Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:23:33 +0100 http://www.afropolitan.co.za/features-a-columns/kaburu/234-kaburu-the-end-of-the-world.html   A nobly Calvinistic tribe, the Afrikaner is renowned for what could generously be described as having a rather conservative view of heaven. It’s a place reserved for souls who religiously refused to have any fun on the sinful earthly plane. According to the true Afrikaner, there were extremely personal relations between the tribe of Ham and non-NG Kerk draadsitters and hensoppers, thus resulting in the heathen Patricia de Lille. Patricia and her ilk (and by this the Afrikaner refers to all... Kaburu Fri, 19 Aug 2011 10:07:19 +0100 http://www.afropolitan.co.za/features-a-columns/kaburu/211-kaburu-if.html A republic of truly monumental monuments, it contains precisely two edifices. The first is a rendition of HF Verwoerd, in every sense a Dutchman. Perched on the only hilltop in the republic, the great architect’s intimidating four foot five tall sculpture gazes across the end result of his great vision: a dorp. This dorp’s grand dust-road avenues (Kerk and Voortrekker) lead to a central plaza at the centre of which is located a monument unique in the world.It rears a towering 2.5m over Schal... Kaburu Mon, 11 Jul 2011 11:03:30 +0100 http://www.afropolitan.co.za/features-a-columns/kaburu/185-kaburu-qeen-tweeq.html “One of the most misunderstood, indeed under-valued forms of music is sakkie-sakkie, an iconic concertina-driven genre widely associated with braaivleis, rugby and two-tone shirts. It is musically and mathematically speaking lethally difficult to play. It was only when I tried to play it myself that I understood why certain extremely complex events occur when it is played. Here I speak not of the sudden mass eruption of the two-step, which requires lurching with outstretched right arm and upw... Kaburu Wed, 06 Jul 2011 15:46:20 +0100 http://www.afropolitan.co.za/features-a-columns/kaburu/149-the-national-democratic-resolution-.html I’d never seen nor drunk so much vodka and Coke in my life. The next morning, while I was in a barely functional haze, it hit me: What comes between socialism and full communism? Alcoholism. Bugger! The imperialist press was right! One of the first lines of The Internationale howled through my head as I poured coffee with a shaking hand... “Arise, ye wretched of the earth!” Why was I suddenly confused? I thought to myself: capitalism is defined as the exploitation of man by man. Communism i... Kaburu Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:46:23 +0100